Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
