just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
