OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've blown a few things in my day
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
