I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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