So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
