Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize