Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
