I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
