you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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