no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
God, I missed his penis.
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