Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
