You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who died my cat blue again?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
