I'm drive I can fine osifer
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
