Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think your dad took our porno
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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