I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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