It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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