i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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