He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
