I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
