Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
