can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
