areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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