that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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