So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
