how can u be prego again
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
