I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
