I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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