i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
