I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
