and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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