Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
