yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
