the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
