I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
