Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
