Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
