I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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