Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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