Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
