she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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