omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
