Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
