apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
