He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
