Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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