If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
