you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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