Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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