what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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