Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
