so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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