Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize