plz talk dirty to me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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