I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't turn off my feet"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
