Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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