I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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