everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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