Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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