My nipple is on Facebook.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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