And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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