then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
