"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
