On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
