just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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