Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize