You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
