I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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