what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
