What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
