mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize