I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
