Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
