I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
