You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
