Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
