WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize