pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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