Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize