one might say we're banned from that church
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
