we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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