She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
