he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
