why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
