he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
